tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8739201169241763927.post7999667958874164436..comments2022-11-13T08:23:36.226+00:00Comments on The Adventures of Cilgin Kiz: Culture Clash, Trouble in Paradise.Maryhocamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17594674974875294664noreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8739201169241763927.post-18281323574952000482011-08-28T23:50:23.466+01:002011-08-28T23:50:23.466+01:00This was one of my favorite of your posts. Such a ...This was one of my favorite of your posts. Such a lively difference of opinion and drama.Penelope J.http://donthangupbook.com/blognoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8739201169241763927.post-10465977703320524922011-08-04T04:33:21.227+01:002011-08-04T04:33:21.227+01:00Drama makes us appreciate the quiet times. I agre...Drama makes us appreciate the quiet times. I agree with Holly, and I would be the first to buy this as a book and promote it. You also prove that treating people with humanity knows no cultural bounds. It comes from who you are and how you see yourself as a human being. And you my friend are a wonderful human being. xoxocathy joneshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02829421153829081513noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8739201169241763927.post-69618025742419410412011-08-01T23:35:08.625+01:002011-08-01T23:35:08.625+01:00WOW, Mary! I'm so sorry that you have to deal ...WOW, Mary! I'm so sorry that you have to deal with all this drama. Though possibly an exaggeration, this sounds to me like the rationalizations they used to treat African Americans as slaves. How can anyone say that another person doesn't deserve respect?<br /><br />I would have done the exact same in your situation and I'm glad you did! =) As you say, the best part of it all is that you've been able to clearly identify who are true friends. =)Samantha Bangayanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10126342453185964881noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8739201169241763927.post-37446532338440241022011-08-01T07:45:06.599+01:002011-08-01T07:45:06.599+01:00Simply put: I believe you were in the right how co...Simply put: I believe you were in the right how could you not be. People deserve to be given respect and trust....until they don't.photos by janhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04931922143998773384noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8739201169241763927.post-80117152514616369732011-07-31T06:06:58.311+01:002011-07-31T06:06:58.311+01:00If you write the novel, I shall happily buy it and...If you write the novel, I shall happily buy it and help to promote it!<br /><br />Meanwhile, you would have to have gone against your nature to do otherwise. No one should have to turn themselves inside out to fit into another culture; if being civil and polite is not enough, then perhaps one ought to move. Seems to me all you've done is give Ali respect, kindness, and hope for a better life. That hope need not be realistic - just knowing there are people who do not see him as a lowly servant, unworthy of the smallest courtesy, may keep him from hating people in the future. It may be that you've planted a small seed in a larger garden of peace.Holly Jahangirihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08034708581256314628noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8739201169241763927.post-30390229735284521292011-07-30T16:09:08.141+01:002011-07-30T16:09:08.141+01:00Hi everyone. Thank you for your comments. I apprec...Hi everyone. Thank you for your comments. I appreciate them. It is been a difficult and upsetting week as Spy has been going from house to house and giving out about me. I don't want to fall out with my neighbours, however I refuse to blank someone because of their job and their income. Capital Lady has been wonderful, in spite of her position she too sees everyone, regardless of station, as family. She has invited me to yoga with her.In many ways, I have found that those who have nothing or little are the more decent people and the ones whom I would choose as friends. Fingers crossed that tomorrow things will work out to everyone's satisfaction. I know I have made a difference because Spurned no longer shouts for him from the balcony, she telephones him, Yippee. She understood my Turkish when I said mutual respect!Maryhocamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17594674974875294664noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8739201169241763927.post-42707464845944378252011-07-30T15:41:00.490+01:002011-07-30T15:41:00.490+01:00I absolutely think you did the right thing. I hop...I absolutely think you did the right thing. I hope there will be a way to talk "Ali" into staying because he seems like an asset to the area. But I wouldn't blame him for not staying if he is to be treated like he exists merely to please the more privileged. Everyone deserves respect.Laliahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13569348127933434931noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8739201169241763927.post-20691832327933176492011-07-30T14:27:58.053+01:002011-07-30T14:27:58.053+01:00I think you did the right thing. It is a testament...I think you did the right thing. It is a testament to your character and genuine, caring nature. All people are special, no matter their class, education, etc.Janinehttp://reflectionsfromaredhead.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8739201169241763927.post-4709164189759468752011-07-30T10:08:35.440+01:002011-07-30T10:08:35.440+01:00Hey Mary,
I am so happy that you treated Ali just...Hey Mary,<br /><br />I am so happy that you treated Ali just as any other individual irrespective of all. The world's problem is that we don't value people as equal and then we talk about equality and being human. People are all one and the same and they deserve the respect everyone does.Hajrahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07686684984746593155noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8739201169241763927.post-49423423430767162742011-07-30T07:30:00.624+01:002011-07-30T07:30:00.624+01:00I find it amazing to see how some Westerners behav...I find it amazing to see how some Westerners behave in a foreign country. It is as if slavery had not been abolished.<br />I think that you treated Ali as a human being and that is what they are worried about: he was supposed to cater their every whim!Murielhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07669453005443249990noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8739201169241763927.post-34811622866843269852011-07-30T06:05:45.822+01:002011-07-30T06:05:45.822+01:00Loved reading about this culture clash. You wrote ...Loved reading about this culture clash. You wrote about it in vivid detail, and with great humor and empathy.<br /><br />I think you did the right thing, standing up for Ali. It couldn't have been easy, but stick to your values and beliefs. However, I do not know Turkish society or their mores. I have had experiences in Mexico where there are still big class distinctions, similar to the ones you write about in Turkey, whereby caretakers are on call 24/7 in the months/weeks/weekends when owners are around. However, most of the time, their duties are relatively light, some gardening, maintenance, etc. and many have second jobs. I have made wonderful friends among the so-called lower classes. Some, like Ali (Mehmet?) are intelligent and want to learn, to make something more of their lives, and go beyond the class barriers imposed on them. A former chauffeur/driver, son of my mother's maid, after some encouragement, got his law degree. I made friends for life with my two cooks who helped me in my business, as with the former office boy who was an invaluable help. And others like them who, whenever I go to Mexico, I see because I truly value their friendship and vice-versa.Penelope J.http://donthangupbook.com/blognoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8739201169241763927.post-67033794840120566212011-07-30T03:59:04.243+01:002011-07-30T03:59:04.243+01:00You definitely did the right thing. You should nev...You definitely did the right thing. You should never have to compromise your ethics and values just because someone doesn't agree. Even though they are his employer there is still the requirement to treat Ali with dignity and respect.<br />I think you should continue treating him the way you do, who knows you may continue to influence others to do the same and force the manager to change.<br />Great post.Aaronhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07599480576917082694noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8739201169241763927.post-72530270330352425792011-07-30T02:14:59.970+01:002011-07-30T02:14:59.970+01:00I really think you could write some very interesti...I really think you could write some very interesting posts.....soap opera indeed.<br />I think you have treated him as any one of us would like to be treated with dignity, respect, and care. <br />Unfortunately with cultural differences there are problems that arise, but I still believe you have done the right thing. <br />You cannot be responsible for the reactions of others. It always resides within them.Maureen Hunterhttp://www.esdeer.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8739201169241763927.post-73808318138254445552011-07-29T22:14:24.271+01:002011-07-29T22:14:24.271+01:00Thanks Thom. I already mentioned it to him about a...Thanks Thom. I already mentioned it to him about a month ago. I felt guilty in that bringing him to Ireland, being his Irish Mammy who constantly gives him "life" lessons in addition to English lessons has somewhat changed his outlook and thus makes him different to his friends. He reply was that self improvement is always worth the cost.Maryhocamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17594674974875294664noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8739201169241763927.post-84222226205824580652011-07-29T21:58:38.937+01:002011-07-29T21:58:38.937+01:00I think you treated him appropriately. This is a c...I think you treated him appropriately. This is a case of 'to think own self be true' rather than 'when in Rome, do as the Romans do.' You could always ask him if you are causing/have caused problems for him.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16722113420473357914noreply@blogger.com